From the semi-not-so-real Onion:

I just keep telling myself, “That’s okay, Sheryl. Tomorrow you can take the afternoon off and run a bath, light some candles, and tease your engorged vulva to thoughts of that carpenter who put in our basement molding. Tomorrow.”

This fictional account is another reason to save time washing your hands, making U-turns on the highway, and eating freezer meals. Not quite sure how I got 3 legitimate links out of this post, but I did. So there!

Users who have tabs open in multiple Firefox windows can drag and drop tabs across separate browser windows. Using this technique you can consolidate all of your tabs into a single window. Keeping all of your tabs will make Firefox (and the rest of your system slower) but also let you make the most of a the “restore session” feature.

Session restores bring up all of the tabs you had open in case of a computer/program crash, or you close the window and later chance your mind.

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According to the author of Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder,

Just because your idea of “organized” is scattered or mixed up doesn’t mean you’re necessarily slower or less efficient; you may just have your own system. And if you’re naturally a little sloppy, what really wastes time is struggling to maintain strict order. Sure, always searching for your keys isn’t exactly time efficient, but think of the treasures you’ll discover in the depths of your bag!

The evidence is building that organized people are less efficient workers, and may actually get less work done on average of messy people.

It would seem that if your job is to defend a person who may spend the rest of their life in jail you’d get some rest the night before.

A defense attorney tried a different argument to win his convicted client a new murder trial: The attorney was too sleepy.

Charles R. Curbo wrote in a motion for a new trial that he could not properly represent the defendant, Tony Wolfe, because he was tired during the six-day trial in January.

This was in Tennessee, go figure. Now, normally you shouldn’t confuse fatigue with laziness, but we just did. So there.

Often times we lazies want to simply say “I don’t want to do that” but are often met with the response of, “why not?” Since laziness has such a stigma associated with it, we can give a classy response, feel in control, and put pressure on the other person for inconveniencing us.

Speak and let the mantra, “I can’t be bothered” (or CBB for short). Try it next time someone asks you why you’re not cutting the grass, cleaning the bathroom, or feeding your baby. “I can’t be bothered”, with a simple nose turn up will get those pesky do-gooders off your back.

…and you can get back to the couch. Use it and abuse it today and let us know how it goes, if you can be bothered to leave a comment.

Now that’s lazy.

You can now give the rocks in your Speedo an instant makeover with the Aussiebum “Wonderbra” for men’s crotches. If you want to impress the ladies, and fast, here’s is your lazy ticket to Dateland.

It’s “all natural,” with “no rings, string, padding, or anything.” It uses all your “own parts” to make your bulge as large as possible. [via Gizmodo]

Since this underwear is most likely to ever be seen right before they are taken off, or will be seen by someone who has already seen your package - this makes us wonder. Hmmmm, will it give you a lift or just be a let down.  Ladies, let us know

Is pretty funny.

Definitely done by someone with our kind of thinking.

Middle age with it’s wisdom also brings stress, depression, and a lack of energy. For women who are feeling sluggish due to the stresses of mid-life should take Karen Karbo’s advice on reinventing yourself.

Remodel

To remodel your life might mean taking a class, but never going for a degree. You will not be required to become fluent in Farsi or learn how to insert an artery stent. In other words, remodeling takes motivation, but not nearly as much as a full-scale reinvention requires.

Refurbish

A refurbishment is just the ticket for the short-attention-span crowd. It never entails learning a new skill, although you may be asked to do the hard work of imagining yourself as a platinum blonde or someone who can wear dreadlocks with elan. You might say, “I’m not that superficial, just overwhelmed with the thought of dumping my life to summit Everest.” But refurbishment is the re of choice for those who want the quickest return on their investment.

Reframe

The successful reframist changes absolutely nothing about her life; she simply reframes the way she thinks about it.

Sounds like this is good advice for not only women, but all of us who have happened to fall into a run. Being lazy for the sake of it’s fine, but if it’s the result of depression or being in a rut your should do something about it.

Healthy freezer meals are a triple threat - cheap, good for you and best of all, there’s no dishes to do afterwards! Brands like Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice and Smart Ones go on sale all the time at the grocery store. It’s almost unheard of that at least one of these brands isn’t on sale at any given time. My personal favorite is Lean Cuisine, which was on sale the other day ‘4 for $10,’ an amazingly low $2.50 per meal. And with delicious new dishes from Lean Cuisine like their Chicken Club Panini and deep dish Margherita Pizza, they’re actually pretty tasty.