Be Lazier » General

8 Lazy Ways To Say You’re Sorry

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:00:46 +0000

Nobody wants to have to apologize, let alone have to say sorry longer than they have to. Luckily there are some tried and true ways to say sorry without actually having to do much, admit you’re wrong, or actually say more than “I’m sorry”.

Flowers – Nothing says I’m sorry like a piece of your neighbor’s garden. Don’t use their own flowers to apologize for taking their flowers. Or something like that, you get the point.
Cards – You should ideally couple a card with some flowers but writing a note in a cheap card with a cheesy apology is pretty effective on its own.
Completely Admit Defeat – You can give up on any attempt to redeem yourself and admit total failure and take all responsibility. Or just say you do.
Lavish Gifts – It’s expensive but the lazy thing to do if you have money. If you don’t have money, charge it. That’s pretty lazy too.
Just Say You’re Sorry – Low effort, though tends to have low effectiveness. It should be your last lazy effort though, not your first. Otherwise you just look like you’re trying too hard.
Shift The Blame – It wasn’t your fault, but you are sorry it happened anyway.
Chocolate – This usually only works on women. For men, buy them sports tickets or some other form of food.
Cheesy YouTube Video – Find some cute kids laughing or a dancing dog in an email with your apology. The cuteness practically takes care of itself.

Hey, if laziness got you into this mess then by goodness, it can get you out. Crying like a baby also may work but to be only used as a last resort.

[photos by: Lee, Simon]

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3 Workouts For Your Neurons Without Reading Or Thinking Too Much

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 07:00:29 +0000

Sure reading and learning can be a real power boost for your brain, but it’s also a major drag on your slacking off. Basically since your brain is lazy too and gets more efficient doing things over and over, a few tweaks here and there can keep your mind sharp.

Hack Your Brain By Switching Toothbrush Hands – Brushing your teeth in the morning with you non-dominant hand stimulates the growth of new brain cells. These new cells help make the task easier over time.
Stand On One Foot – Cross your arms across your chest and stand on each foot for a minute at a time. If you’ve ever sprained an ankle you likely damaged some of the nerve endings in your foot making it hard for your brain to get a good sense of your balance. You can rebuild these neuro-receptors by doing this balancing act for a few minutes daily.
Sit On a Ball - Exchange your office chair with an exercise ball to get your brain working on giving you balance and stability. This simple act of sitting on a slightly bouncy ball is not only fun and good for a brain boost, it can help you burn a few extra calories during an 8-hour workday.

Using your brain without thinking is the most efficient way to grow neurons and look stupid trying to brush your teeth with your left (or right) hand. Best not try switching your hands on the job if you work as a butcher though.

[photo by: hurleygurley]

Zone Out To Solve Big Problems

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 07:00:16 +0000

Your mind, as complex as it is, can’t focus on more than a few things at any given time. It turns out that concentrating makes it hard for our brains to see ‘the big picture’ which is where zoning out comes in. Researchers at UC Santa Barbara have found that zoning out is actually a very useful mental state that helps creativity.

In their fMRI study, Schooler and his colleagues found that the default network and executive control systems are even more active during zoning out than they are during the less extreme mind wandering with awareness. When we are no longer even aware that our minds are wandering, we may be able to think most deeply about the big picture.

Furthermore, according to the study getting drunk and zoning out isn’t the same mental state and isn’t as productive (but more fun). More and more research points to the fact that using our brains too much is detrimental to creativity and highlight the benefits of daydreaming.

[photo by: greeny_meanie]

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How To Swim Like Michael Phelps Without Training As Hard

Mr. Lazy — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:48:42 +0000

Ok, I know that swimming like Michael Phelps, or any of the other Olympic athletes is no small feat. There are ways though you can gain an edge without spending 8 hours at the pool or consuming 12,000 calories.

Don’t Breathe – You shouldn’t have to breathe in a 25 meter race, but you can significantly improve your times the longer you successfully hold your breath.
Don’t Look Around – Every glance left or right disrupts your form, creating more water resistance and subconsciously causes you to slow down ever so slightly.
Respiratory Training – In a pioneering study, subjects who followed a resistance-breathing training protocol (breathing load) improved their respiratory muscle strength. Subsequently, swimmers can improve their swimming endurance and breathing capacity through targeted training of the respiratory muscles, researchers at the University at Buffalo have shown.
Try Some Baking Soda – researchers in the UK have discovered that supplements containing sodium bicarbonate reduce the amount of lactic acid produced by exercising muscles. The swimmers taking sodium bicarbonate supplements in the study shaved an average of 1.5 seconds off of their times.

Using the techniques above you can effectively shave 3-4 seconds off your best times by actually doing less. It might not take you to the Olympics, but you might fare better at your local community recreation center.

Run Faster In 10 Seconds

Lift Ultra Light To Increase The Efficiency Of Your Workouts

Mr. Lazy — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:00:00 +0000

The other day some of my usual medicine balls at the gym were missing so I had to go for some a few pounds lighter. I realized as I was wildly flailing them around that going light forced me to focus on my form.

Once you get into a lift regimen it’s widely known that varying the duration and intensity of a workout can improve your results and prevent injuries. Going ultra light will relieve you of the burden of heavy lifting and really allow you to focus on perfect form.

Focusing on perfect form readjusts your muscles to moving without making mistakes due to heavy weights. The key is to do the exercises slowly and using little force to ensure that the motion is smooth and proper. An ultra light workout will give your muscles a chance to recharge leaving you more energy when you get home and for the next day. You’ll also get a refreshing chance of pace at the gym and enjoy some lazy time even when you’re working hard.

[photo by: heffalump_hieu]

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Be Lazier Back From The Dead, Posts Resume

Mr. Lazy — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:00:22 +0000

I’ve been having some major, and I mean major coding issues here with the site and well…been too lazy to fix them. Until now!

The one month hiatus is over and posts resume today. Be Lazier is a little baby in progress but has already been blessed with some popular posts about napping, Firefox tabs, and the benefits of daydreaming.

I’ll try to keep up the lazy content without being so lazy. Posts resume today.

[photo by: Xose Castro]

Wake Your Lazy Eye Up With Prozac You Crazy Bastards

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:00:19 +0000

It turns out that Prozac isn’t very good at warding off your depression or anorexia if you’ve got that. The drug though may help children who are visually impaired.

A team of Finnish and Italian researchers announced that the drug, when administered to rats with impaired vision, played a role in correcting their eyesight. Even better, they think it could have the same effect on the two to three percent of humans who have amblyopia, or lazy eye, the most common cause of visual impairment among children.

Prozac doesn’t help adults with the same conditions however, or depression, anorexia, or craziness – so why does anyone take it?

[photo by: txkimmers]

The Lazy Woman’s Guide to Reinvention

Get Your Nut Off In 3 To 7 Minutes For Good Sex

Mr. Lazy — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:00:08 +0000

A group of scientists got together and decided to measure intra-vaginal ejaculatory latency (the time after you “stick it in”) and find out duration satisfied participants (aka. fuckers) most. Women were asked afterwards what they considered “too short”, “adequate”, and “desirable”.

When it comes to time and vaginal penetration and ejaculation, the average for “too short” was rated as 1 to 2 minutes. “Adequate” was 3 to 7 minutes. “Desirable” was 7 to 13 minutes. And “too long” was 10 minutes to 30 minutes. What we concluded is that intercourse that lasts from about 3 to 13 minutes is considered the norm.

Foreplay wasn’t measured since the scientists couldn’t figure out how to quite define it. Both men and women tended to respond the same way and reported 33-37 minutes of total sex to be ideal. So fuck off, just not more than 13 minutes please.

[photo by: Paolo Dallorso]

Lost My Post, My Will To Write Another One

Mr. Lazy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 07:00:50 +0000

In my attempt to fix some coding errors over here I accidentally destroyed much of the database filled with Be Lazier…and since we’re lazy here (hence the blog name) I hadn’t run a backup in a while. I learned a great lesson today – take backups, but automatically.

Cause that way you won’t have to do shit when shit gets fucked up. Now I’m drained, back with new material on Friday.

Hand Sanitizer Doesn’t Reduce Hospital Infections

Mr. Lazy — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 07:00:57 +0000

Gobs of hand sanitizer are good at quickly reducing the number of germs on hands but not in hospitals.

He also said hospital workers shouldn’t wear rings and should trim their fingernails even more than the CDC recommendation of no longer than a quarter of an inch. Rupp said bacteria showed up when nails extended just beyond the fingertip.

Hand sanitizer is still faster and more effective than washing your hands and can even be used to treat bug bites. Just don’t count on it to keep you from getting hospital flu.

[photo by: jacknickhole]