Be Lazier » School

Get An Extra Day To Finish Your Homework Or Work Project With Corrupted Files

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:00:44 +0000

Instead of getting your work done on time and sending it to your professor or boss, use the Corrupted Files to send in scrambled versions of your Mircosoft Word documents. For about $5 you can purchase a 1,2, 10, whatever-page document to buy yourself some time to actually finish the work you were supposed to do.

It’s probably going to take a few hours or days for that teacher or corporate manager to realize that the file you sent them doesn’t work (because they’re lazy too, trust me.) To make this all more believable, rename the Word file to something like, “My_Homeword.doc”. In the meantime start writing that paper!

Otherwise you’ll have spent 5 bucks stalling and failing that class or losing your job. Of course, you could just corrupt the file yourself for free but that would be too proactive. If you’re going to spend the time doing that, just finish the assignment instead.

[photo by: mandiberg]

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

The Easy Way To Find X

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:00:33 +0000

I wish I had thought of this when I was in school – but it probably wouldn’t have helped my already poor grades (from being lazy no doubt).

Andrea Harner has some other simple solutions from lazy students that should get points for creativity. If not they can buy some excuses or harass school officials to give them some snow days.

Being Smart May Not Be Worth The Effort, Shorten Lifespan

Mr. Lazy — Wed, 07 May 2008 07:00:32 +0000

The evolution of intelligence may come with the side-effect of a shortened lifespan. Brain power is energy consuming and being lazy may actually help you live longer if studies on fruit flies hold the same for humans.

The ability to learn does not just harm the flies in their youth, though. In a paper to be published in the journal Evolution, Dr. Kawecki and his colleagues report that their fast-learning flies live on average 15 percent shorter lives than flies that had not experienced selection on the quinine-spiked jelly. Flies that have undergone selection for long life were up to 40 percent worse at learning than ordinary flies.

It does seem that the smarter human beings get, the more capable (and willing) we seem to destroy ourselves. It might also be why those fat, lazy slobs tend last forever. Best to combine the benefits of laziness with intelligence and make your life more efficient by using your brain.

[photo by: exalted]

Destined To Passive Cheat

Mr. Lazy — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:33:52 +0000

Newsweek reports that the more you believe in destiny over free-will, the more likely you are to cheat. The type of cheating is opportunistic in nature and not actively sought out.

This is what moral philosophers call “passive cheating.” It’s the equivalent of having a sales clerk give you too much change and not choosing to give it back.

The interesting thing is that since 1960, the number of people who report they have little or no control over their lives has increased. Also, the number of men who like drunk girls, women who like misplaced sales tags, and used car salesmen has skyrocketed.

[photo by: COCOEN daily photos]

Being Smart May Not Be Worth The Effort, Shorten Lifespan

Student’s Call For Snow Day Leaves Administration Out In The Cold

Mr. Lazy — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 07:00:06 +0000

A student in Virginia used his cell phone during lunch to complain to the chief operating officer of his county [Dean Tistadt] about the 3 inches of snow outside. The student, Devraj Kori, could not find Tisdadt in his office and decided to call his publicly listed home number.

He got his wife instead, who called back and left this message.

“How dare you call us at home! If you have a problem with going to school, you do not call somebody’s house and complain about it,” Candy Tistadt’s minute-long message began. At one point, she uttered the phrase “snotty-nosed little brats,” and near the end, she said, “Get over it, kid, and go to school!”

Using the beauty of the Internet, Kori then posted this message on You Tube (since been removed – I checked) and to all of his fellow students…who promptly began prank calling the home and office. It didn’t stop there.

The Tistadts received dozens more calls that day and night, Dean Tistadt said. Most were hang-ups, but at one point, they were coming every five minutes — one at 4 a.m., he said. At the same time, his wife’s response was spreading through cyberspace.

The story was also picked up by a local television station. The school and county administration have both talked with Kori, who has not been disciplined. It has raised an interesting freedom of speech debate on how accessible public officials are or should be.

Either way, it just goes to show that trying to get out of school for 3 inches of snow deserves a battle with your school system. Too bad this type of thing would only float around the Washington DC area, where school have been closed on account of heavy rain.

[photo by: prairiedog]

Use Fake Soda Labels To Cheap On Your Next Exam

Mr. Lazy — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 07:00:08 +0000

Very clever – you simply scan in the soda label and replace the text with your notes, formulas, whatever. Watch the video to see a demonstration.

WPvideo 1.10

Download!

I’d recommend trying this sometime during the current semester. Teachers will catch on eventually and ban soda bottles from desktops during test time in the future (if they don’t already).

[via Schneier on Security]

A Tampon Taser

Make Your Documents And Term Papers Look Longer By Increasing The Period Font Size

Mr. Lazy — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:00:21 +0000

Here’s a little trick that I found out from a bright college student. You can effectively make your papers longer by replacing all of the periods with a New Times Roman font and making them a size 14.

Of course, increasing the font size always works, but by doing this on the periods only it won’t be noticeable. You’ll save some time by not writing a few extra sentences, although I’d avoid doing this with commas and semicolons. They might tip off your professor, especially if the rest of your paper is bullshit.

MBA Students, Make The Most Of Your Spare Time

Mr. Lazy — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:00:48 +0000

Those of you who are already working may have a hard time building the motivation to get your MBA. The two best options, an executive MBA (usually weekends only) or a part-time degree program, will save you tuition and living expense.

BusinessWeek has ranked the top choices.

At the University of California at Los Angeles’ Anderson School of Management�our top part-time MBA program nationally�we discovered a school that challenges students to apply everything they have learned in a final project that takes them well outside their comfort zones. At Harvard Business School, one of the top executive education programs in the open enrollment category, we found an already successful program in the midst of a game-changing overhaul, with a new array of programs targeting every level of the corporate hierarchy. And over at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, our longtime No. 1 executive MBA program, we found a program where the customer is king and teamwork is part of the school’s DNA.

A full-time program can set you back more than a year’s salary and taking too much time off or in between classes can invalidate your credits. Keep in mind that – in most cases – 2 years in an MBA program can almost double your salary for a lifetime.

Move Firefox Tabs In Between Separate Browser Windows

Too Lazy To Even Make Up Your Own Excuses, Just Buy Them From The Excused Absence Network

Mr. Lazy — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:00:24 +0000

There are many times where you need some help lying to your boss, teacher, or wife who almost always need some sort of proof to believe you. The Excused Absence Network gives you the best ~~lie~~ exaggerated truth for your specific situation.

For about $25, students and employees can buy excuse notes that appear to come from doctors or hospitals. Other options include a fake jury summons or an authentic-looking funeral service program complete with comforting poems and a list of pallbearers.

Personally, I think the best excuse is “I can’t be bothered” – though this phrase could cause you to lose your job, fail you classes, and have a piss-filled toilet. I’d advise just saving the $25 and forging your own doctor’s note.

Free Online Language Courses: Mango

Mr. Lazy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 07:00:44 +0000

Mango offers free online language courses in 10 languages. The courses include Japanese, Polish, and Brazilian Portuguese.

The course are are a blend of Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur. Each language has around 100 lessons, enough to give you some basic conversational skills. Mango registration is free and only requires a valid email address.

We’ve written about other ways to effectively learn a new language fast in the past and how long you can expect to wait to become proficient speaker for a given language.