From the semi-not-so-real Onion:
I just keep telling myself, “That’s okay, Sheryl. Tomorrow you can take the afternoon off and run a bath, light some candles, and tease your engorged vulva to thoughts of that carpenter who put in our basement molding. Tomorrow.”
This fictional account is another reason to save time washing your hands, making U-turns on the highway, and eating freezer meals. Not quite sure how I got 3 legitimate links out of this post, but I did. So there!
