I wish I had thought of this when I was in school - but it probably wouldn’t have helped my already poor grades (from being lazy no doubt).

Andrea Harner has some other simple solutions from lazy students that should get points for creativity. If not they can buy some excuses or harass school officials to give them some snow days.

The evolution of intelligence may come with the side-effect of a shortened lifespan. Brain power is energy consuming and being lazy may actually help you live longer if studies on fruit flies hold the same for humans.

The ability to learn does not just harm the flies in their youth, though. In a paper to be published in the journal Evolution, Dr. Kawecki and his colleagues report that their fast-learning flies live on average 15 percent shorter lives than flies that had not experienced selection on the quinine-spiked jelly. Flies that have undergone selection for long life were up to 40 percent worse at learning than ordinary flies.

It does seem that the smarter human beings get, the more capable (and willing) we seem to destroy ourselves. It might also be why those fat, lazy slobs tend last forever. Best to combine the benefits of laziness with intelligence and make your life more efficient by using your brain.

[photo by: exalted]

Newsweek reports that the more you believe in destiny over free-will, the more likely you are to cheat. The type of cheating is opportunistic in nature and not actively sought out.

This is what moral philosophers call “passive cheating.” It’s the equivalent of having a sales clerk give you too much change and not choosing to give it back.

The interesting thing is that since 1960, the number of people who report they have little or no control over their lives has increased. Also, the number of men who like drunk girls, women who like misplaced sales tags, and used car salesmen has skyrocketed.

[photo by: COCOEN daily photos]

A student in Virginia used his cell phone during lunch to complain to the chief operating officer of his county [Dean Tistadt] about the 3 inches of snow outside. The student, Devraj Kori, could not find Tisdadt in his office and decided to call his publicly listed home number.

He got his wife instead, who called back and left this message.

“How dare you call us at home! If you have a problem with going to school, you do not call somebody’s house and complain about it,” Candy Tistadt’s minute-long message began. At one point, she uttered the phrase “snotty-nosed little brats,” and near the end, she said, “Get over it, kid, and go to school!”

Using the beauty of the Internet, Kori then posted this message on You Tube (since been removed - I checked) and to all of his fellow students…who promptly began prank calling the home and office. It didn’t stop there.

Read the rest of this entry »

Very clever - you simply scan in the soda label and replace the text with your notes, formulas, whatever. Watch the video to see a demonstration.

I’d recommend trying this sometime during the current semester. Teachers will catch on eventually and ban soda bottles from desktops during test time in the future (if they don’t already).

[via Schneier on Security]

Here’s a little trick that I found out from a bright college student. You can effectively make your papers longer by replacing all of the periods with a New Times Roman font and making them a size 14.

Of course, increasing the font size always works, but by doing this on the periods only it won’t be noticeable. You’ll save some time by not writing a few extra sentences, although I’d avoid doing this with commas and semicolons. They might tip off your professor, especially if the rest of your paper is bullshit.

Those of you who are already working may have a hard time building the motivation to get your MBA. The two best options, an executive MBA (usually weekends only) or a part-time degree program, will save you tuition and living expense.

BusinessWeek has ranked the top choices.

At the University of California at Los Angeles’ Anderson School of Management—our top part-time MBA program nationally—we discovered a school that challenges students to apply everything they have learned in a final project that takes them well outside their comfort zones. At Harvard Business School, one of the top executive education programs in the open enrollment category, we found an already successful program in the midst of a game-changing overhaul, with a new array of programs targeting every level of the corporate hierarchy. And over at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, our longtime No. 1 executive MBA program, we found a program where the customer is king and teamwork is part of the school’s DNA.

A full-time program can set you back more than a year’s salary and taking too much time off or in between classes can invalidate your credits. Keep in mind that - in most cases - 2 years in an MBA program can almost double your salary for a lifetime.

There are many times where you need some help lying to your boss, teacher, or wife who almost always need some sort of proof to believe you. The Excused Absence Network gives you the best lie exaggerated truth for your specific situation.

For about $25, students and employees can buy excuse notes that appear to come from doctors or hospitals. Other options include a fake jury summons or an authentic-looking funeral service program complete with comforting poems and a list of pallbearers.

Personally, I think the best excuse is “I can’t be bothered” - though this phrase could cause you to lose your job, fail you classes, and have a piss-filled toilet. I’d advise just saving the $25 and forging your own doctor’s note.

Mango offers free online language courses in 10 languages. The courses include Japanese, Polish, and Brazilian Portuguese.

The course are are a blend of Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur. Each language has around 100 lessons, enough to give you some basic conversational skills. Mango registration is free and only requires a valid email address.

We’ve written about other ways to effectively learn a new language fast in the past and how long you can expect to wait to become proficient speaker for a given language.

Getting good grades without actually being smarter, begins on the first day of the semester and you reap the benefits around finals.

•  Be Slightly Late To Your Very First Class - This will help you get noticed by your professor, which is a good thing. It doesn’t always work with all teachers, but having them associate a face with a name on a term paper works to your advantage.
• Ask At Least One Question Per Week - Find a good one, and ask it. You want to get noticed by your professor right? Asking questions shows that you are engaged and actively thinking about the course content.
• Always Skim The Material Before Class - This includes readings you didn’t do, homework you didn’t finish, and projects that you half-assed. I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t read what I was supposed to - but with some careful less-that-one-minute scanning was able to participate in class. Never be the student who says “uhh, I didn’t read the assigned readings”. That never looks good.
• Stop By Class At Least Once Per Month - We all have questions about an assignment or course that we could keep to the end of class. Try to ask a it after class one day after the 2nd or third week. This way you have one-on-one time with your professor and makes you look extra studious since you’re spending some of your extra time trying to learn more.
• Form Study Groups - Study groups are in general a waste of time, but there is certainly information that you will overlook while cramming. The other members of you study group can highlight the little tidbits, pages, and facts that are sure to pop up on an exam.
• Sit Within the First Half of Seats Closest to the Front - Yeah, this one is a bit of a drag and makes you look a bit like a dork - which is what you want your professor to think. Sitting in the half of seats closest to your teacher also help to keep you awake, hear more, and be distracted less easily.
• Try Not to Skip The Classes Everyone Else Does - If you can at all help it, try to attend class when a large part of the campus is going to cut class. Right before a holiday, music festivals, and football games are lots of fun, but if you can at least stay for the first half of class (let your professor know you’ll be leaving early) it will make a good impression.
• Always Bring The Book, A Pen, and Some Paper - Everything else is extra (maybe a calculator for math). These essentials are a must so you can at least pretend to be studious.
• Stay Quiet - Talking in class to others (it’s worse the smaller the class) is a quick way to annoy your fellow students and professor. Plus, you won’t hear anything.

It is important to create a link in your professor’s mind between some name in their roster and your face. Many studies have been done on the effects of facial recognition and empathy and the results consistently show that people empathize more with those they are familiar with and people who look like people they know.

I once had a professor tell me she really liked a shirt I was wearing, because her husband had the same one. No sure fire way to get an ‘A’, but you can bet she remembered my face out of the 100 people in class while grading my papers!

I’d love to hear other little tips and tricks others may have used in college, school, and in different majors!