Oil, food, and cost of living prices are skyrocketing but still aren’t anywhere as valuable as our time. Attorney Edgar Cahn though, is fighting for your right to be lazy.

Cahn is a leader in the “slow movement,” a national campaign that claims that speed kills. Its leaders say that Americans are so starved for time, our need for speed is destroying our health, families and communities.

To help us in our “time crisis” (or time of crisis) Cahn created TimeBanks USA.

TimeBanks members barter blocks of time known as “time dollars.” One member may, for example, buy groceries for a stranger in exchange for someone else walking their dog.

Maximizing your free time is what we’re all about since it’s vital to good health and sex. When you’re not relaxing while awake, make the most out of your naps.

[photo by: alumroot]

What would you do if your boss found you and decided to become your friend on your social networking sites?

Since these are the ultimate online time wasters, don’t use your real name when creating a profile to stay undercover from your teachers and co-workers.

Workers feeling sick often force themselves to work reducing the efficiency of the workplace, a practice known as presenteeism. The New York Times has 5 good reasons to stay home when you come down with a cold.

Since people are most contagious in the first two or three days of a cold, you will help your whole organization by not getting your colleagues sick.

The article also makes to good point that rest will help to get better faster and is a better alternative than going to work and hardly working for a week. If you’ve got the option, consider a few hours to efficient telecommuting. Who knows - you may even make a colleague happy that you’re out, it may just cancel that meeting they’ve been dreading!

[photo by: delinion]

A brilliant study reported on by The Onion, which, although deserves some attention, may be harmful to laziness.

Perhaps even more shocking, the study reveals that not working significantly decreases worker productivity, sometimes even resulting in no work getting done at all. Similar findings were reported in the areas of avoiding work, putting off work, complaining about work instead of actually working, pretending to work, and fucking around.

“Fucking around is in fact detrimental to the work process,” the study reads in part.

Try to remember this on Monday, because Friday is certainly not the day to start working.

MSN has come up with a list of the top jobs for slackers. Don’t be mistaken however, these are companies that promote a laid-back lifestyle, or help you slack-off on chores.

Lauren Loper (Your Mobile Gym) drives her gym-in-a-bus to you. But there’s a less-laid-back downside. She’ll make you sweat when she welcomes you aboard your own private driveway workout station.

There are also companies that promote boring movies to help you sleep, but no matter where you work, make it a point to get up from time to time. Even sitting in a home office can be bad for your body.

…the fear of Mondays.

foXnoMad writes:

Scirocco Take A Break is a little program that sits in the Windows task bar and reminds you to get up at intervals you specify. Ok, so you might be on a roll when your 45 minute break comes around, you can hit the “remind” button (also configurable) and get another nudge in 10 minutes.

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There are many times where you need some help lying to your boss, teacher, or wife who almost always need some sort of proof to believe you. The Excused Absence Network gives you the best lie exaggerated truth for your specific situation.

For about $25, students and employees can buy excuse notes that appear to come from doctors or hospitals. Other options include a fake jury summons or an authentic-looking funeral service program complete with comforting poems and a list of pallbearers.

Personally, I think the best excuse is “I can’t be bothered” - though this phrase could cause you to lose your job, fail you classes, and have a piss-filled toilet. I’d advise just saving the $25 and forging your own doctor’s note.