Kraft is making a new butter flavor for their microwave popcorn that contains diacetyl, which may or may not be bad for factor worker’s lungs.

Microwave popcorn is probably also screwing up your lungs too, but maybe people will feel sorry for you since you’re going to obese if you keep eating it?

Somehow we got on the topic of popcorn and now just can’t get off of it. The popcorn manufacturers are trying to clean it up, but I’m glad Kraft is saying F-you to Orville. That guy loks creepy if you ask me.

Aside from those 3 essentials, you can keep your food and Jell-O shooters at a crisp 43.2 degrees F with the E20 Aluminum Locking Cooler.

The device saves you from dealing with melting ice and half-assed warm-as-my-ass-crack beer. The E20 must be plugged into a home or car outlet. The nice thing is you can have ice cold soda on your way to the beach without stopping.

The E20 costs $129.99 and certainly won’t fit your Heineken DraughtKeg or Beerbelly but maybe your dildo sausage.

The SensorFreshQ tells you instantly if your meat is fresh enough to eat. The device ($89.95) actually measures the levels of harmful bacteria in red meat and poultry (not fish) and tells you if it’s safe to eat.

Hold the meat stick an inch above your meat and push the magic button.

Most people just buy meat, eat it and throw it out. At least now you’ll know that you won’t be getting rid of your meat by puking it up. Too bad there isn’t a dildo-detecting sausage stick to go along with the SensorFreshQ.

Just make sure your meat doesn’t earn the red light - “Freshness Not Assured”. For the record, my meat is always fresh.

A German man headed for Dubai was discovered to have two sausages with dildos inside of them.

The 50 year old man bought the sausages from a butcher, only to return them soon after and asked they be kept in the freezer. A clerk at the shop noticed the sausage had gotten heavier.

There are way too many sausage/meat/fake-penis jokes to make here so I won’t. I wonder if this dude was gay or straight and if we could find out by watching him walk. Dubai has some strict customs laws, I wonder what they’d think if they found the plastic ding-dongs.

Microwave popcorn is great fast-no-nutrition food although it has toxic materials in it that cause the little air sacs in your lungs to shrink and fill with mucus. We no longer have to fear bronchiolitis obliterans anymore since Orville Redenbacher, Act II, Pop Secret and Jolly Time are changing their lung-killer recipe.

Diacetyl which gives microwave popcorn that buttery flavor goodness is being phased out within a year. The other popcorn makes said they’d do it “eventually”. So you now have the choice between having man-boobs or having man-boobs and suffering a breathless slow death. Yummy!

Men should eat at least 10 tablespoons if tomato sauce per week for prostate health.

But to really reap the benefits, you can’t just put a few slices of an heirloom tomato in your salad. The best way to get the positive effects is by eating 10 tablespoons of tomato sauce a week. “It takes 165 raw tomatoes to equal 10 tablespoons of tomato sauce,” Dr. Roizen says. “So it’s much easier to have tomato sauce.”

It’s not often you can find that much health in that little quantity, not to mention good taste. The rest of the top ten 10 foods men should eat everyday ranges from aspirin to red wine -worth a read.

Next time you don’t know what to with those browning bananas, stick them in the freezer. You can eat them later, provided you give them a few minutes to thaw out.

For bananas that get too ripe for eating, I always take the skin off and throw it in my designated ripe banana ziploc bag in the freezer. When I need the bananas, I just pull them out and microwave them a little to soften them.

A neat and useful little trick I overhead at the grocery store

No lighter fluid? No problem…besides this stuff is just light the match and drop it on the coal.

The cooking part, well, you do that.

Microwave popcorn is a low calorie snack that can be made in minutes, doesn’t require silverware, and combines with another favorite lazy activity - TV.

Though you might want to think twice before eating the stuff as the time saved may not be worth some of the dangers.

It appears that workers making the stuff are coming down with bronchiolitis obliterans, a disease that causes the smaller bronchi to be filled up with masses of fibrous tissue.

Is this enough for you to cut back or completely stop eating microwave popcorn in favor for the on-the-stove stuff? Let us know in the comments!

Every morning you run to Starbucks to pay $4 for a choco-coco-mocha-latte-tatti-totty, waste 15 minutes in line, and fight more traffic…take some advice from those who know lazy. Instead of wasting money, time, and effort, grab a cup of coffee from work. Pour some cream or milk if that’s your thing.

Then, and here’s the real trick, take a square of dark Dove chocolate and drop it in your java. Wait a minute then stir gently. Gently, so at the end of your drink you’ll have some choco-gooiness waiting for you to get you through the day.

You’ve save time and energy and all of that - but a drink that beats anything you get at a trendy coffee place. Last thing - the Doves come in single wrapped pieces so you have even less to do.

Try it and let me know what you think.